Think and Grow You - Chris Felton

YBOP Intro/Outro: 00:00:06

Welcome back to Your Brain On Positive. All the love and support you need is residing inside of you. And we're going to make it easier to turn it on.

Jackie Simmons: 00:00:23

Yes, it's that time it is time to get your brain on positive. And I am Jackie Simmons, I am the host of your show. And today I am super excited. Why? Because there's nothing better than getting great content into the world. And my guest today is doing that. So welcome into the studio, Chris Felton. Hey, Chris.

Chris Felton: 00:00:44

Jackie. I'm excited. Excited. Thanks for having me. Looking forward to it.

Unknown: 00:00:49

Ah, you're very, very welcome. All right, the journey to go into being an author is one that is daunting for most people. What prompted you to go on that journey?

Unknown: 00:01:05

Um, you know, I, I'm 51. When I turned 50, Jackie, I realized for the first time in my life, I'm not getting out of this thing alive. Which is, like, it sounds funny. But I'm like, that was the first time I live, I'm like, I'm probably going to die at some point. And ball, okay. And then I have a friend in in my company, same age, went from healthy, stroke, dead seven days. And it hit me like a hammer. And I'm like, Dude, you gotta get this, this book done this kind of manifesto of your life and you better get it done. And I was very fortunate one of my friends and mentors. Again, a guy named Steve Siebold. Literally reached out to me the week later, and he's like, Hey, I've heard you speak. I know your story. It's time to do it. So all that stuff kind of lined up. And everything changed. And I went all in it was about a year ago.

Unknown: 00:02:12

Cool. Well, you just described exactly what's been on my mind lately, which is this energetic alignment. We're doing. And I don't know if you even know, but we're doing an intuitive immersion experience. And the reason we're doing it is because the synchronicities happen and most people are not aware of the power of intention, you made a decision, and the universe lined everything up for you. Yeah, life is easy when you realize that. All right. Thank you and grow you interesting title for a book. So my first hit, if I didn't know the subtitle, I'd go, Oh, my God, this book's gonna be a lot of work. But that's not the way you designed it. So what inspired you to put however many stories that are in there? I mean, it was story after story said, What inspired you to do it that way?

Unknown: 00:03:08

Yeah, I mean, I, I have a good friend, his name or remain unnamed. But he wrote a book and it became a best seller. And he threw the kitchen sink in the book. Like it was just, I still haven't finished it. And I'm a voracious reader. And once again, I had a coach, someone that sold 3 million copies. And he's done, you know, 1000s of book signings. And you said, Chris, the feedback I always get from people is simple to read, easy to read. And so I set it up in simple, easy teaching kind of my point of view on a personal development topic. People probably heard of it. There's no new concepts in there. But it's my point of view. And then it's more of my personal story of how I actually applied it to get unstuck in many areas of my life. So the idea of the book is to help people get unstuck because we get stuck. And we don't know how to get unstuck. And so I share my dirty laundry. And I share I share all my secrets of this is how messed up I was, this is what I did to change and then here was a result in in many areas of my life. So

Unknown: 00:04:36

So let's pick one because the subtitle, how to get out of your own way and level up your life. How to get out of your own way. Getting stuck is synonymous with being in your own way.

Unknown: 00:04:53

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. mean getting out of your own way. Meaning, you know, and that's great. what the book is about is, there's so many ways that we do it. And, you know, one of my quotes is, my back was against the wall. Jackie, I was stuck in so many areas of my life. I was $250,000 in credit card debt. My kids were small. I live in Denver, they live in Atlanta. I'm in financial services, we're in the great recession. We're just nasty, nasty time. My wife and I have the blowout of all blowout fights. She starts counting on her fingers, which is just not good. Right? Jackie, when a woman starts counting on their fingers, you're in trouble. My wife's name is Marlo volcanic Marlowe. And she's she's laying into me. And then I said, Well, why? Why are we still married? It was just a little more animated than that. But like, why are we still married? And then boom, Wyatt bite stops, she goes upstairs to ponder, should I stay or should I go? And I was there by myself. And it was the most enlightening moment of my life where I realize, wherever I've had a problem in my life, I've always been there. And I was the common denominator to the whole mess. Up to that point, it was my ex wife's fault. It was my team's fault. It was the recession. It was I mean, you fill in the blank. But it literally Jackie it was like dominoes, falling financial relationships. I was drinking too much. My energy was bad. My spiritual life was out of whack. It was just all dominoes. And I was the common theme in that. So I don't know if anybody can be more stuck than I was at that point. But with my back against the wall, I made a choice that I Chris Felton created it i Chris Felton had to make the necessary changes. And I went all in like an Olympic athlete would with their sport.

Unknown: 00:07:10

All right, it was just talk that went out. Yeah, one you went all in what happened first? What did you do first? Well,

Unknown: 00:07:20

I Marlo and I got back together the next day. And thank god, she's like, we're not getting divorced. We're not getting jobs. We're not declaring bankruptcy. She's like, ongoing to figure out what world class wealthy couples do. So we actually wrote a book 11 years ago called couples money that came out of this. So she got on planes, trains, and automobiles and just interviewed what I call a world class couples that had wealth in every area of their life, not just money. And then I told her, I was going to figure out how my mindset kept creating, broke, because how can a financial advisor and a CPA have money challenges? So I got up early a journal to read, I visualize I mean, if you would have told me to stand on my head for an hour, if it was going to change my situation I was going to do I was going to do whatever it took. But slowly but surely. And one of my favorite quotes, Mel Robbins says it doesn't work overnight. But it does work over time. Slowly but surely, my daily morning routine of figuring out my dysfunctional belief systems with money and shifting and changing and all the things I did which I share all those resources and all those steps in my book. Eventually, everything changed. And we had a miraculous transformation in all areas of our life, not just financial. So

Unknown: 00:09:03

cool. All right. Yeah, I was gonna bring us back around to we left your wife upstairs. But you've already brought her back down and shared that and I really appreciate that. So this would not be your first book, you and your wife together wrote couples money based on your insights as a financial and her insights from interviewing that yeah, I love that. So she worked her way through actually interviewing these couples. When you talk about having abundance in all areas of their life, not just financial wealth, but they had wealth in all areas of their life. What's the one area that most people neglect?

Unknown: 00:09:50

From a wall standpoint?

Unknown: 00:09:51

Yeah, from what you said wealth in all areas of their life, not just money. So from feeling wealthy in all areas of their life base Some what this journey you've been on for yourself, what was the one that you neglected the most? Or what did you learn out of this research? I'm gonna pull these two books and tie them together a little bit. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:10:10

I mean, I think it's a quote in my book. And it was a transformational quote for me, because I was on a journey in lots of areas of my life. And it's actually a Billy Graham quote, where he says, once you get your attitude straight around money, it helps straighten out almost every area of your life. I mean, Billy Graham said that, and that my focus was clearing up my money challenges. But through that, which I share in the book, I had to go through a significant forgiveness exercise. Right, forgiving my ex wife forgiving me forgiving, you know, those things. I had to face head on this, you know, crazy mind virus that humans create, called deservingness.

Unknown: 00:11:03

Oh, tell us more about this virus called deserving Well,

Unknown: 00:11:09

it's crazy. I mean, because like there's no deserving issues in nature. Right. I mean, there might be recessions and pandemics. But you know, when I checked, the grass was still growing. The trees are still growing. Like, nature still rocks and rolls regardless of what is going out there. But us humans create this. Good enough deserving not deserving. I mean, my dog doesn't have a deserving issue. And so when we show up as babies, we deserve to be taken care of loved. We cry, right? We have no deserving problem. And then somewhere and you know, zero to four years of age, somebody tells us we're bad. We're this we're that I heard it from teachers. I heard it right. And then we make up this story. Not good enough not deserving not. It's not. So that it's a chapter in my book, but But it's, I had to face that. I had to just face that head on.

Unknown: 00:12:14

Alright, so I'm going to invite you to share that story with us. The story of that chapter where you faced head on this virus called deserving. It sounds almost like the name of a great movie, the virus called deserving

Unknown: 00:12:31

yet. Yeah, I mean, it. I just, you know, I, once again, was on a search and a journey. And once again, I you know, it's not like I've arrived, and I have it all figured out. I mean, you know, one of my favorite quotes I use in the book I just got from one of my coaches that, you know, we're a miracle in a mess at the same time. Right. And, and so, you know, there's always things to work on. But as I was, you know, just growing and developing and peeling the layers of the onion back, I realized that you don't deserve to be wealthy.

Unknown: 00:13:07

Okay, that was a belief system.

Unknown: 00:13:10

Absolutely. And

Unknown: 00:13:11

would that just question, the idea, you don't deserve to be wealthy can be unpacked three different ways in my mind, tell us what you did with that. How did you interpret that sentence?

Unknown: 00:13:23

Well, what I, what I what I realized when I was making my shift was my family's struggle with money forever. Dad was broke, Mama's broke grandma, grandpa like, so. I didn't make myself wrong, because I had some limiting beliefs and some challenges most of it, I borrowed from my family. Right. And so, and through my personal development journey, and interviewing wealthy people, you know, they had viruses too. They were programmed to have these limiting beliefs. But at some point, my my point was age 37, they decided that's enough, and not enough is enough, and it's time to upgrade, like it's time to upgrade your cell phone. Right. And it's time to upgrade. So, so as my awareness is growing, and I'm growing, I started noticing and what works for me is, you know, it's not really a limiting belief. It's more of a lie that I tell myself. And, and it and it doesn't matter where the lie came from, because I think people want to like make themselves wrong, right? They want to go down this rabbit hole they feel you know, and in the book, I think what I say specifically is I didn't need to hire a therapist, to pull the to pull the scab off every friggin time. What you don't pay attention to falls away and eventually atrophies. So when it would pop in. I just was an observer. I noticed it. I was curious. I didn't add emotion to it. I

Unknown: 00:15:06

didn't add. Oh my god, there's, there's Jackie, there's that deserving thing again, I'll

Unknown: 00:15:11

never get rid of it. Like, I just was like, Ah, interesting. And I would go to an affirmation or a scripture or something I just I got really good at like not engaging with it. And then I don't know when it happened. But eventually, it just fell away.

Unknown: 00:15:34

Got it. All right, that's a really important point. If I'm understanding you correctly, you gave up needing to know where it came from. I mean, I'm a firm believer that our level of beliefs, our emotional intelligence, it's caught not taught. Nobody teaches us these things. We absorb it from our environment. So we are completely on the same page there. You had a plan for when this thought cropped up, where you're the thought of you don't deserve to be wealthy, which was sort of the life of your family, because nobody was. And when that popped up, rather than trying to suppress it, which is what most people do, we call that, by the way, you know, the work I do in the teen suicide prevention society, when you try not to think a thought we call that doubling down on the thought, because you're actually giving it energy. So you managed to avoid that trap, and simply redirect your attention to something that pulled you in the direction you wanted to go. Because certainly that statement, you don't deserve to be wealthy would not pull you in the actions that would get you wealth. Because we have a hard time arguing with ourselves all the time. It gets exhausting. Yeah, and so sidestepping the need to argue, eventually it falls away. So I like the fact that you've found a way and I love that you found a way to put it into steps and put it into actionable ways that people can take this journey themselves. Because I'm gonna do it yourselfer at heart like you, I'm a voracious reader. And there are some books that are not easy reads, I agree with you I've got one I've been chewing on for months now is just got a lot of a lot of neurobiological information in there that sends me to my dictionary. The reality is that it can be simple when it comes to changing your mindset. And that's really the premise behind the whole your brain on positive, the effects. This is going to be fun. All right, Chris, I'm going to take you to the Wayback Machine. All right. Make a guess, the moment that you recognized that that thought wasn't popping up anymore. Any idea how long it had been?

Unknown: 00:17:58

From when I started becoming aware of it when it fell away?

Unknown: 00:18:01

From when you notice that it was no longer popping up? To the last time it actually had popped up? How long do you think that you went without just even being aware that it was gone?

Unknown: 00:18:17

I mean, it was probably six to nine months. I mean, that's just that's just that's just a guess. But once again, it it it no longer had any pole or power with me because I would drew my attention from it. So that's when I say in the book, I'm like, I don't know when it really fell away. Because eventually fell away. I don't I don't have it doesn't it doesn't run me anymore. Thank God.

Unknown: 00:18:42

Thank goodness. Yeah, absolutely. That's a big one for people. What you did actually is a neuroscience based process that I'm going to just geek for a minute with everybody with thought pops up. And especially at first with his emotion around the thought. And instead of arguing with it or trying to suppress it, you just notice it and acknowledge it and then redirect your attention. What you're actually doing is pulling all of that electrical current away from that old neuro pathway and redirecting that energy into the new one. Which is why having the new one at the ready is so important. What was you said you went to an affirmation or do a scripture Do you have a favorite affirmation or scripture?

Unknown: 00:19:33

Yeah, I mean, it's a story in my book under the chapter I think. I think the story is lined up with the chapter and affirmation and it's a it's a powerful story. I attract success, abundance and peace into my life. Because that is who I am. Oh, okay.

Unknown: 00:19:54

So affirmation. I attract success. Money on dense abundance. Okay, success abundance in peace? Because that's who I

Unknown: 00:20:07

am. Yeah, I attract success, abundance and peace into my life because that is who I am. And it feel she want to hear the story on that. Lays. Yeah, so I had once again, I had a I had a firm it right, because I think the big thing Jackie is, you know, when my back was against the wall, my wife's like figure this out, or I'm out the door. And you know, I had all those things, I had to make the connection that my thinking was creating my world. Like it was no longer debatable. And so it being that way. You know, one of my favorite things to tell people is pay attention. Right? Pay attention. And the analogy I always give is, you know, if it's two in the morning, and somebody breaks into your house, how, how alert, are you? Like, you're full on alert, and I knew I had to be alert to that thinking that had trashed that stuff. And so, and I just had to buy it. I mean, I had to buy into it, I had to finally trust that my thinking created my world, because I debated that for a little bit. But based on results, as my coach used to say, based on results, what must you be thinking? And so I went I track success, abundance and peace in my wife, because that is who I am. And I gave myself a break. Because I think the other thing, Jackie has people have affirmations and then they're like, where is it? Where's it? Where's it?

Unknown: 00:21:42

Where's it? Jackie's? tangible evidence that yeah, nation is making it? Yeah. Yeah, I was looking inside and saying, Am I feeling more peaceful?

Unknown: 00:21:51

Yeah. And, you know, so I did that for years where I'm like, Okay, I'm wealthy, I'm wealthy. I'm wealthy. I said a million times, Where's where's my money? Where's my money? Where's my money. And my coach is like, Chris, chill the out and relax, which could be a whole nother podcast, chill out and relax, relax, calm down, do what you can do today. But I just saw I just kept saying it. And I didn't need to get affirmation, and I probably said it 1000 times. Anyway. So thanks for turning around for us. We tripled our income. I mean, just unbelievable financial blessings, just super blessed. My wife was a ginormous part of that, obviously with the tactics and there's some game plan stuff in the book too, somehow twos that are very important. Anyway, so we bought a we bought a condo in Keystone, Colorado, are in the mountains, Rocky Mountains. And I image and visualize that and visualize my kids waking up in bunk beds in the summer when they're visiting me and all that stuff happened. All that stuff happened. And we're along the Snake River, there was this incredible path. And you'd see moose with their babies on it. Just unbelievable blessing. And I was coming back. And I remember right where I was, I get goosebumps every time I think about this. And I stopped my run. And I just was overwhelmed. Because I was finally that I was right. I track success, peace and abundance into my life because that is who I am. And right there. I said oh my god. It's true. And it works. The law works like I am finally that it didn't happen overnight. But it happened over time. And I trusted the process and I mean, I remember I just I wouldn't I wouldn't grab my knees full on tears. I'm just an unbelievable feeling. Because part of my book is making people aware that the work is worth it. And I think a lot of people debate is going to be worth it. It's gonna it's gonna work out for me. And my coaches like Chris it's a lot like if you affirm this and you stay on you do the work and you stay committed to it things are going to change and it was just it was that moment of my God I am abundance I am peace. I am success. That's what we were built to be. And when we get out of our own way it happens but it was a freaking amazing, amazing moment in my life.

Unknown: 00:24:37

The recognition of the chicken and the egg what comes first the emotional state or the experience. Most people are saying after I have the house after I have the bank account the way I want it after I have my relationship the way I want it. Then I will feel good about Got myself. And yet the process is backward. It's the other way. Yep. Yep. I love the fact that you've tapped into what this feels like, before you felt it. And you owned it. Yeah, I love that, because that's who I am. I think, if nothing else comes out of this for the people listening to this podcast episode, Chris, because that's who you are. And that who every one is, this is not a zero sum game, it's not that Chris Belden now has money and other people don't. Because of that, it doesn't work that way. Abundance is abundance for all. And that's a relatively new concept for mainstream media to wrap their heads around, because what we're getting the messages from the world as the opposite of that, if they win, you lose this whole win loss, what you experienced was outside of that dynamic. So I love the fact that you are bringing out this book, that it will help people get out of the somebody when somebody loses, and into, I get to win internally first. And then the external world will line up. Which is what you said happened with even the concept of the book, you got in alignment internally with, I'm writing the book. And externally, the universe lined up and the support that you needed showed up without you even looking for it. It's a beautiful thing to bring forward, Chris?

Unknown: 00:26:54

Yep. I'm excited. I'm excited about it. So. So

Unknown: 00:27:01

I'm gonna take and just touch for a little bit about the journey to be an author. And have you share what this is because you are doing this book in a very planned way. And I'm fascinated, just for context, my first book went from concept to printed it in my hand in three weeks.

Unknown: 00:27:25

Wow.

Unknown: 00:27:26

So your book is a process of more than a year. And the planning, that allows for you to have a launch coming up, that is like a certain outcome, you the outcome is certain because of you it's like if a plus b plus c, d is a given, what is the what are the steps of putting this plan together?

Unknown: 00:28:00

You get a launch plan or just hey, I want to write a book. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:28:03

let's take it either direction. Yeah, I mean,

Unknown: 00:28:08

I mean, the book wants to, once again, I got mentored by, you know, a truly world class person who, you know, I mean, I would literally write a concept send it to him, we would just chew on it, knock on it. And his philosophy has always been make the first draft impeccable. And then draft 2345 will be good, but in the books he's written, so you know, three or 4 million copies didn't have the personal stories attached to him. So if you're, if you're gonna write a book, make sure you got the personal stories to. But what I've also learned is, authors write the book, and then they're like, Okay, there's the book. Everyone, I got a book, everybody yawns. So I had a pretty detailed, you know, book launch plan, that's, you know, for four and a half months of, of focus. This is obviously part of it, Jackie, thanks for including me on your show. But, you know, people suffer from intention deficit syndrome, right. intention deficit disorder. So, you know, I wrote it, and my, my goal, you know, when I was at age 50, going, Okay, I'm not getting out of this thing alive. Chris, what do you want to do the rest of your life and the word that hit me from above is impact. Right, that's, that's my word. So, and the number that hit me is 10 million or more people to be impacted. And you know, that came.

Unknown: 00:29:47

Your attention behind the book is to impact 10 million or more people.

Unknown: 00:29:51

Yeah. And so it's going to be, you know, the book, speaking workshops, you know, just just all And it's it's getting, it's getting my message out into the world. And like I said, I don't think the topics are unique. But I really do believe that my point of view, and my application is unique because it's, it's from a very, it's from a very heartfelt place. It's very much, you know, like I said, me sharing my dirty laundry around it. So, you know, the affirmation I tell myself is, you know, I sell a million or more books. So is it so I can get recognition of selling a million books? No, book sales is a measure of impact. And if I want to have impact, I need to have something that I can measure and a goal I can go after. So it's a it's a big one, people roll their eyes a little bit when I say it. But that's never bothered me before. And I think I think it's a book, it's going to make a big impact. Because I think the other thing too, is the way it's written. You can look at the table of contents and go, You know what, I gotta worry problem. How did Chris move past worry? I'm gonna go through those steps. Right? I, I'm hung up on forgiveness again, dang it. What did Chris do to forgive his ex? Why? What are those steps he went through. So, you know, it's not like we're ever forever going to be unstuck. But I think people are going to look at this book, and be able to come back to it time and time and time again, and get themselves, you know, on stock. So anyway, I'm kind of talking in circles. I don't know if I'm

Unknown: 00:31:41

answering your question. But you're doing a great job. Because what the intention behind the question is, what are the steps that lead to a book being written and a book, then becoming a best seller, and intention is the missing piece for most people. Not clear enough, because there, you can write a book to write a book, I wrote a book to be able to have a workbook that would go with my course. So you know, my first book is literally a quickstart guide. It's a workbook that goes with a course on sales. And that was, it was the missing piece that I couldn't get it from my own trainings and business trainings, and what other people were teaching. I'm like, nobody's teaching me how to do this part. So I'm going to figure it out, I'm going to do a course on it. And then I wrote the book to go with the course. And they kind of merge together. So that was my intention was just to fix what I saw as a problem in the world. Your intention is to fix the problem in the world with the intention of how many people you're going to impact. And I think that that was the missing piece for me. So I'm really glad that you brought that up, because it might actually solve a lot of problems for people who are part of our positivity movement, who are looking to bring more positive messages into the world, measuring, having something you can actually aspire to, that you can measure, I think is really important. And I love what you brought up about the idea of not having an original thought. But having an original take on the thought I've summed it up is I've been blessed to study ordinary things with extraordinary people. And, Chris, I think you are one of those extraordinary people. And so while the pieces of the puzzle may feel a little commonplace to you, I believe that the way you put the picture together is completely extraordinary. And I just want to thank you for being brave enough to do that. And, and ballsy enough to have a big intention for it.

Unknown: 00:33:59

Yeah. i Thanks, Jackie. Yeah, and I appreciate that. Because you know, you when you're an entrepreneur and you go out there, you never know how people are gonna respond. You don't know if it's any good.

Jackie Simmons: 00:34:15

Or if you're any good, like, you know, people are,

Unknown: 00:34:18

I have doubts, I have concerns. I have all that stuff. So I appreciate your affirmation. And, and, yeah, I mean, that's, that's my prayer is, you know, people can get to this stuff and the fraction of the time it took me to get there, and with a definitely a fraction of the investment. And so hopefully it speeds up the process for everybody. Well, that

Unknown: 00:34:42

is the intention of this podcast, Chris. So I'm delighted that our intentions align, we want to help everyone get to a place of knowing their abundance of getting past the I have to work to deserve it to the understanding that we are born deserving. And that was just a lovely piece I want to pull out and highlight because that one thought change could change the world. Chris. Thank you very much for being part of the show. Yeah. You're welcome. We'll have all the links for everyone in the chat notes in the show notes. So stay tuned, because we'll have a follow up with Chris and find out what it really feels like to see your intentions become your reality.